Abuja, Nigeria.
Shortly following his interview on BBC Focus on Africa, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Public Affairs, Doyin Okupe was rushed to the National Hospital in Abuja for a life threatening mouth infection. Our sources also report that Abati has also been hospitalized for the same ailment.
In an interview with our correspondent, Chief Medical Director of the National Hospital, Professor Bello Bala Shehu explained that the infection which occurs a lot among politicians climbing up the ladder was caused by "contact of the mouth with the anal region." Asked to explain further he said: You non medical people call it kissing ass. When an aide to a politician does that often then the mouth oozes with horrible smelling discharges, offensive to normal human beings. This is what they are suffering from."
Professor Shehu could not state the duration of treatment or if they could recover from this infection.
Editors note: We at Dissociated Press are deeply concerned about the health of these public servants. We wish them a quick recovery.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
JONATHAN CONGRATULATES ARSENAL, URGES NIGERIANS TO EMULATE FANS
Paris, France.
Breaking from a meeting to discuss how to end Boko Haram with his West African neighbours, President Goodluck Jonathan took time out to share in the joy of a football club that has faced years of stigma as one which never won anything.
"I don't really watch football, but even a blind man can feel the global excitement when Arsenal won something. Even in my blackberry I was getting messages from my son and from Tompolo- I didn't know militants like football. Even Asari changed his display picture to Arsenal. I want to congratulate them and congratulate the French people because one of my aides, I think Abati, told me that the coach is a French person."
President Jonathan then linked this to the meeting on Boko Haram hosted by the French President.
"You see this Arsenal victory is very connected to why we are here. Everyday in Nigeria bombing, kidnap, terrorist. 5 years now. If they didn't sack an ordinary coach who was not winning anything, good 9 years, how much more a country? Nigerians should not lose hope. They should elect me and see the spirit of Wenger take charge. One day, it may be in the 9th year, but one day God will do it for us. Nigerians should just be prayerful and vote for me in 2015."
When asked what specific steps he would take to oust Boko Haram after the meeting he replied: "When you deliver something into the care of God do you ask him what specific steps he will take to solve your problem? People should just be like Arsenal fans please. Be prayerful and wait."
Breaking from a meeting to discuss how to end Boko Haram with his West African neighbours, President Goodluck Jonathan took time out to share in the joy of a football club that has faced years of stigma as one which never won anything.
"I don't really watch football, but even a blind man can feel the global excitement when Arsenal won something. Even in my blackberry I was getting messages from my son and from Tompolo- I didn't know militants like football. Even Asari changed his display picture to Arsenal. I want to congratulate them and congratulate the French people because one of my aides, I think Abati, told me that the coach is a French person."
President Jonathan then linked this to the meeting on Boko Haram hosted by the French President.
"You see this Arsenal victory is very connected to why we are here. Everyday in Nigeria bombing, kidnap, terrorist. 5 years now. If they didn't sack an ordinary coach who was not winning anything, good 9 years, how much more a country? Nigerians should not lose hope. They should elect me and see the spirit of Wenger take charge. One day, it may be in the 9th year, but one day God will do it for us. Nigerians should just be prayerful and vote for me in 2015."
When asked what specific steps he would take to oust Boko Haram after the meeting he replied: "When you deliver something into the care of God do you ask him what specific steps he will take to solve your problem? People should just be like Arsenal fans please. Be prayerful and wait."
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