A nondescript house, Abuja, Nigeria, far away from bow ties.
Our political correspondent met up with the CBN Governor-In-Suspension, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi and conducted the exclusive interview below.
DP: It is a pleasure to meet you sir. Thank you for granting this interview...
SLS: (cuts in) Please go straight to the point, I don't have all day. Leave niceties for politicians.
DP: Much speculation has trailed your suspension from office, especially that you are a member of Boko Haram...
SLS: (cuts in again. takes off glasses) Who speculated?
DP: Well, people...
SLS: Which people? Look my friend, if you are not ready for this interview tell me. I have an appointment after this.
DP: Okay, Okay. Officials of the presidency, notably Reuben Abati, Reno Omokri, Wendell Simlin and Henry Omoregie.
SLS: I don't believe in killing as a means to solve problems only in very limited situations. So I cannot be Boko Haram. Moreover, Boko Haram is a Salafi group and I am not Salafi or Wahabi or whatever it is they do in Saudi Arabia.
DP: In what limited situation would killing be a valid way of solving problems?
SLS: Like in self defence. Or if you keep asking me stupid questions.
DP: Speaking of killing, Henry Omorogie and so many ads on the internet have accused you of beheading a certain Gideon Akaluka for religious reasons in Kano.
SLS: And so? I can accuse you of being an agent of Jonathan...
DP: But sir...
SLS: Or of trying to sleep with any one of my wives. I saw the way you were looking at them when you walked in.
DP: I had no such intention sir. I am a child of God. I attend Mountain of Fi...
SLS: (laughs) You see?
DP: I still don't get your point.
SLS: My point is, stupid, that where is the proof? Where is the family of the said Akalaka...
DP: Akaluka
SLS: Whatever. Look don't interrupt me again.
DP: Sorry
SLS: The point is, anyone can say anything. Show me the body or the grave or the family.
DP: We have also read reports of your penchant for sleeping with women, especially married ones.
SLS: Did any one of the women come out to complain. If there is one thing that is worse than adulterous sex, it is bad adulterous sex. If two consensual adults enjoy each other, then alhamdulillah.
DP: So you did sleep with Hajiya Maryam Yero?
SLS: You read her texts in Premium Times. Did she complain? I should be thanked. Not castigated.
(Noise from background)
(One of Sanusi's wives, the seconds emerges from behind the curtains)
WIFE 2: (To Sanusi) Ba ka ce mana baka ci ta ba?
SLS: (Angry) Toh na ci ta. Menene? Na ce, an ci ta. Ba mace ba ce?
(Turns to DP correspondent) Look, get out of my house!
DP: Just one last question about bow ties sir...
SLS: I say get out!
Editor's note: We are still in the process of finding an interpreter for the Hausa phrases above. Any help will be greatly appreciated.
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