Otukpo, Nigeria
Reactions have begun to trail the recent pronouncement by the Nigerian government of its intention to rebase the country's GDP, changing the baseline from 1990 to 2000. By this new baseline, Nigeria now has a GDP of well over 500 billion dollars and is now Africa's largest economy. Following in the government's footsteps, many persons have now begun to apply rebasing in their private lives. In condemning this new trend, singer Innocent "Tuface" Idibia has lamented how this singular act is destroying the lives of well meaning Nigerians. He was reacting to the sudden leap in reports of the number of women he has been sleeping with since he married one of his former lovers, Annie.
Speaking to our reporter who met him in a bar with an unidentified female, he said: "Annie knew I have been with many women, she knows all my children from all the other women. Yeah. She does. Yeah. But since I married her I have changed. All these guys writing anyhow blogs saying I am with other women now are wicked. And I blame Jonathan. Overnight he has rebased us and one has become plenty. I will sue anybody who rebase the number of women I am sleeping with. This rebasing, it is a crime against humanity."
When our reporter inquired about the identity of the woman he was with, Mr. Idibia sternly told him that the interview was over. We were lucky not to lose our recording equipment in the process.
-DP
Editors note: DP congratulates Nigeria on its overnight growth and sudden leap among the comity of nations. With just a little act, we as a country have been saved. Like they say, a little leaven ferments the whole lump.
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